"You don't tell people to slap me upside the head!!"
– Aaron in MDIII
"A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming."
"You don't want to be an individual... Individuals die!"
– Dr. Bradley
"[My life] could be worse. I don't see how, but it makes me feel better by saying it."
– Deathscythe HC 2010
"It's easier for you to shut your mouth than for me to shut my ears."
"I don't think I'm the centre of the universe. Actually, I'm closer to the top."
"Well, since I didn't win the lottery,
I'm back. I actually bought a ticket this time, you know. I thought it
might increase my chances of winning."
– IronParrot's English teacher
"Just because you're too much of a MORON to understand what I'm saying
doesn't mean it doesn't make sense!"
– Johnny Lurker, talking to various critics
"When you look back on your life, I want you to reflect on this advice.
You'll be thinking one of two things. Either you'll be thinking 'I'm glad
I took her advice', or 'I wish I had taken her advice'. Now I want you to
remember this over everything else I've ever told you. NEVER, under ANY
CIRCUMSTANCE, Never, EEEEEVER, have kids."
– Mrs. Schneider
"You know what sucks? Bill gates could spend a billion dollars...and
still be a billionaire."
"Grow a mustache, and then you can talk to me about sex."
"Hey, you can't quit, I'm killing you!"
– Skie in a game of M:TG
"If I were exuberently rich, I would
buy a square mile of grassland, surrounded completely by trees. A perfect
square. The land would be perfectly flat. And I would have a single chair.
And I would have an orange. And I would contemplate about the orange, until
my hair is grey. And then I shall die, with an orange in my hand, sitting
on a chair, in the middle of a square mile of grassland surrounded by trees."
"Linux is a different ballpark. Some people need the tightly controlled
apple environment, some people need the diverse windows platform, and some
people need the open Linux platform. But, generally speaking, Linux has the
most potential since you can do anything."
– Rath1on [from Reddit]
"One of my linux programming professors always liked to say Mac is like a
tricycle, you won't go very fast, but you won't get hurt, Windows is a crotch
rocket, you can go very fast, but also die just as fast, Linux is just a bunch
of parts on the ground to put together however you want."
– rtothewin [from Reddit]
Jeidai: Do you know how to do magic tricks?
brother's friend: Yea.
brother: Would you rather watch a FOX special or a man bury himself alive?
brother's friend: Isn't that a FOX special?
IronParrot: "That's funny, in a very sick way."
Skie: "No, it's sick in a very funny way."
N: Who's this?
Jeidai: Meilin Li.
N: Can she fly? *accidentally drops Meilin figurine, then catches it*
Jeidai: No, she cannot fly.
Lady at the Deli: "I think you guys are addicted to the lotto."
Sean: "Well it's better then being addicted to drugs."